Warp Storm

 

Let us merely introduce this debriefing by saying that Archon Shaka walked into the conference severely pissed off.

J.E.: Where the f*ck have you been? I can't even get a semi-decent debriefing from what's left of my army. What the f*ck happened? I'm assuming the Ulthwe recovered the key to the Jekai portal.

A.S.: I kind of wish they did. Something about Jekai's atmosphere caused the key to act up during electrical storms.

J.E.: Which is why I sent you to recover it.

A.S.: Yeah, well, the key did more than act up. It caused a warp storm. And since the air was high in static discharge, it caused storms all over the planet. It completely screwed up the celestial compasses, in fact my entourage never even made it to the surface. It was a miracle that we made it out of the warp at all. We spent the past three days fighting off warp creatures, preventing them from flanking the rest of the troops while they attempted to recover the objective.

J.E.: Okay, that explains the lack of organization on this mission. I'll spare your @ss this time. The Obsidian Knights, the Horns, and the Talos appear to be the only ones who survived the mayhem. Edea has notified me that the Elephant Squad acquired the key, and as the Ulthwe completely wiped them out, they accidently destroyed the key of Jekai, so even though we got our @sses handed to us, at least Jekai's atmosphere has been permanently ruined. If we can't have it, no one can.

A.S.: Sir, I have a concern. With the losses that we've been accumulating, I fear that the other Kabals may lose respect for us and begin to turn on us; kick us while we are down.

J.E.: They will do no such thing. I have already given a speech at the last conclave while you all were gone. I declared that most Kabals are cowards because they are so conservative. They do not specialize in assaults, only sneaky little raids. Now, I love guerilla tactics just like the next Eldar, but we are children of Nightmare. We are Nightmare incarnate. Who has ever heard of a conservative nightmare? A conservative nightmare is merely a bad dream. I explained to the Supreme Lords in intimate detail how they have merely degenerated into bad dreams. They have spent so much time and energy preying on the weak that they have become weak themselves. No one in the galaxy fears the Dark Eldar the way the should. In fact, the new menace from the other galaxy inspire a hell of a lot more fear than we do as a whole.

A.S.: And how, my Lord, did you make it out of the conclave with your soul in tact? If there's one thing Kabal Lords can't stand, its the truth about themselves and their weaknesses.

J.E.: Are we not the Kabal of the Liquid Sword? The truth is our most valuable ally. It is our most powerful weapon. Especially when we hoard it for ourselves and distribute it at the right time. Distribute it in lethal doses. The truth can destroy the most intriguing politician. Humble the mightiest warrior better than any Haemonculus can. And distribute lethal doses of the truth I did. We will no longer be disrespectfully called the Kabal of Gossiping Whores. Especially since Asdrubael Vect himself gave me his sincerest praise at the conclave.

A.S.: Whoa! <the Haemonculi smile>

J.E.: Whoa, indeed. In fact, I will be meeting with him in a week's time to discuss top secret technological upgrades. Only a select few Kabals have been invited to this top secret conclave. We will be the sh*t too. Besides, no one wants me to send the House of Jedi after them. It is rumored that Jedi actually fought Drazhar to a standstill. The Incubi aren't saying, but nobody wants to find out directly. In the meantime, I want you to go to the Errefin outpost. The Errefin system is the closest outpost we have to Tinles IV.

A.S.: You mean you're going after the Space Marines again, sir?

J.E.: Absolutely. Whenever we are discovered in a given system, we usually abandon it permanently. Let's shake our enemies up a little bit. They won't expect us to actually go back and confront them directly. I don't know what they've gathered on Tinles IV, but I want it all recovered or destroyed. If we can't have it, then they can't either. It's about time to start 'player hating', as the humans call it.

A.S.: To hear is to obey.